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Alec Hardison age_of_the_geek
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The New Headquarters of Leverage, Inc, (The Apartment Above Lukes), Wednesday Evening
Eliot was looking pretty terrible. Despite Hardison's insistence that he wasn't going to feed Eliot again after the never-to-be-discussed Pork Rind Incident (c'mon man! There were just some things you didn't do to pork rinds! Or your friends! Even friends that tased you and tied you to a chair!), that insistence didn't mean much when your best friend looked like he was gonna keel over at any minute.

"Yo," he said, standing a safe distance back. "Eliot. You feelin' okay, man? You thirsty? I ain't gonna feed you--" such lies. If Eliot said he was hungry, Hardison was a soft enough touch that he'd try to feed him anyway. "--but I can get you something you drink?"

But that drink would possibly be orange soda, because soft touch or not, Hardison was also spiteful.

"You know, dude, this could all be over if you just told us what the heck was going on."

It was possible that Hardison and Parker didn't really have an endgame here, beyond keeping him tied up for...indefinitely?



2015-03-26 12:16 am (UTC) (Link)

"I'm fine." Eliot was anything but, and doing a terrible job at pretending to be. For instance, that would be way more convincing if he could hold his head up for more than about thirty seconds at a time. "Y'all got . . . nothin' on Colombian drug runners." He closed his eyes, trying to recenter himself again. "I could do this all day."


2015-03-26 12:38 am (UTC) (Link)

"Uhh, do what all day?" Hardison drawled. "Sit on your ass in a chair? Congratulations, Eliot, you an' the rest of Middle America. I, for one, am so proud."


2015-03-26 12:42 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot cracked his eyes open enough to peer at Hardison. Well, he was pretty sure he was peering at Hardison. It took a couple extra seconds for his eyes to actually focus, right now. "Middle America spends . . . a lotta time . . . tied to chairs?"


2015-03-26 12:56 am (UTC) (Link)

"If they're lucky enough to have friends who care about them when they go all whackjob on everyone, then yeah, maybe they do."

Friends who cared and who also had a ridiculous amount of bindings and an obsession with tasers.

"We could try to talk about this you know. You remember talking? It's how you communicate when you ain't grunting and hittin' people."

His stomach still hurt. There was a nasty bruise there and everything!


2015-03-26 01:02 am (UTC) (Link)

Well yeah. Eliot hadn't been holding back.

The noise he made was a little bit more whimper than laugh, much to Eliot's dismay. "You gonna try and -- tell me I'm a robot, too?"


2015-03-26 01:11 am (UTC) (Link)

"Naw, that's all Parker." Though, as further evidence of spite, Hardison wasn't arguing with her about it anymore. He wouldn't go so far as to agree, but if he'd wanted someone to try to explain to her how Eliot wasn't a robot/alien/pod person, he'd have to look elsewhere.

To someone he hadn't punched! And then ruined pork rinds for FOREVER.

"I'm still tryna figure what's wrong with you. What the hell happened in Switzerland. Something like that." He settled back into the couch and made whistling noises. "But you know, if you're all good and comfortable there, you can just do your sexy silent brooding alpha male thing. You do you, Eliot."


2015-03-26 01:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot snorted -- or maybe groaned.

". . . Sexy?"

So apparently he was hallucinating, now.


2015-03-26 01:29 am (UTC) (Link)

"Huh? What man?" Don't panic, Hardison. Eliot could sense panic. And maybe fear. Probably fear. Just play it cool, man. Play it cool. "Stoic. I said, stoic. You should clean out your damn ears sometime."

Nailed it.

Edited at 2015-03-26 01:30 am (UTC)


2015-03-26 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot even kind of bought that. Mostly because he was wrecked right now.

"Right," he said, closing his eyes again. "Was gonna . . . say. Pretty kinky."


2015-03-26 01:47 am (UTC) (Link)

"Boy, don't even get your hopes up." While you were being crazy and hurtful Eliot, instead of grumpy-but-loveable Eliot, anyway. "Like we busted out the fun handcuffs for your sorry ass. "


2015-03-26 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)

Right. Of course not. Parker and Hardison had their thing, Eliot was just the teammate.

"Why d -- why d'you even --" He had to stop and swallow a few times, clear his throat. "Why d'you have all this stuff?"

I dunno, Eliot, why do you have a bear trap?


2015-03-26 02:18 am (UTC) (Link)

Only while you personally went out of your way to sabotage Plan E, Eliot!

"Most of it's Parker's." Because of course it was. "Harnesses and belaying...ropes...and stuff."

Sound more certain of that vocabulary, Hardison.

"If we were limited to just my stuff, you'd be all tied up with electrical tape and Ethernet cords and junk."


2015-03-26 02:25 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot sighed and nodded a little, just enough to be visible without making the room start tilting. "I hate tape."

He closed his eyes again, wincing as a wave of nausea rolled through him. He just wanted to sleep, but he couldn't let his guard down. He hadn't been this tired since --

Fuck. He might not actually have ever been this tired, before.

"What else'd y'do t'me?"


2015-03-26 02:31 am (UTC) (Link)

Hardison paused in the middle of reaching for his soda. "What else did we do to you what?" he asked, confused. "Did we skip a step?"

They weren't the kidnapping professionals of the group!


2015-03-26 02:34 am (UTC) (Link)

"'zit a drug?" Eliot guessed. He tried to shift into a more comfortable position, but such a thing really didn't exist. ". . . fuggin' drugged the pork rin's. . . ."

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