Planning Around Table (All Three)
Alec Hardison age_of_the_geek
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The New Headquarters of Leverage, Inc, (The Apartment Above Lukes), Saturday Night
Hardison always loved his partners. But sometimes he loved them extra. Like right now, when they were indulging him in one of his favorite non-computer and non-bedroom pastimes: good, old-fashioned, pen-and-paper style D&D. 5th Edition had come out awhile ago, but Hardison had been so soured by 4th Ed that he'd refused to even acknowledge it. But some time on an old forum he'd started hanging out on during high school had convinced him to give it a try--and he'd managed to convince Parker and Eliot to try it along with him.

Okay, for Parker, he'd just used one of his 'Hardison Gets To Choose The Date' coupons. Eliot had required the real convincing.

But here they were, sitting around the dining room table, paper, pencils, and many-sided dice around them. Hardison was behind his DM screen as was right and proper, with the various NPCs he'd lovingly crafted over the last week in a neat pile to his side. Sure, he could have used his computer, but it just felt right to do this all by hand. He also had several bottles of Squeeze Orange soda and bags of gummy frogs handy to keep him going, but in deference to Eliot's delicate sensibilities (and as a subtle thank you for agreeing to play), most of the other snacks were things diced fruit and a veggie platter.

And a giant bowl of Doritos, because some things were just tradition, okay?

"A'ight," he said, beaming at them. "I took the liberty of pre-gennin' some characters for y'all to choose from so you ain't gotta worry about makin' characters tonight. Just tell me what you wanna be an' I'll hook you up."

[For the excited players!]


2015-09-27 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)

"How awesome of a thief am I, and what is my pretend-name?" Parker asked, bouncing a little, then stuffing a handful of Doritos in her mouth.


2015-09-27 03:06 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot was peering at the dice. "The hell is all this for? What's wrong with just a nice, normal pair of dice?"

He wasn't trying to be difficult. (He didn't have to try.) This made Hardison happy, so he was willing to try it.

But why did all of Hardison's hobbies have to be so complicated?


2015-09-27 03:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Because Hardison was a genius and he required complicated activities to engage his brain.

"You need different kinda dice to represent different probabilities," Hardison said patiently. "Different probabilities represent various skill levels. You can roll a much better result with 3d12 than you can with 1d6, you know what I mean?"

Probably not, Hardison, no, because you'd lapsed back into geek speak again.

"An' babe, this is a chance for you to be anythin' you want. You don't have to be a thief if you don't wanna. So, what do you wanna be if you could be anythin'?"


2015-09-27 03:15 am (UTC) (Link)

"A magic pony."

Yup, she wanted to be Pinkie.

"Is that one of the options?"


2015-09-27 03:20 am (UTC) (Link)

And Hardison couldn't bluff his way out of a paper bag, so the usual grown up games were right out.

"Tell me she can't play a magic pony." Stop killing Parker's dreams, Eliot. "And try to remember that 'geek' isn't one of the several languages I speak."


2015-09-27 03:24 am (UTC) (Link)

"Uhhh, there ain't a talking pony race, mama," Hardison said apologetically. "I mean more...what do you wanna do? You could cast spells or beat people up or heal people...Uhh, you could ride a pony that you could have a magical bond with? It won't be able to talk, exactly, but it'll--"

Too late he remembered Parker and horses. Though maybe being friends with Pinkie had helped mitigate that some?


2015-09-27 03:29 am (UTC) (Link)

*Some*. But Pinkie could talk and she was pink. So, clearly she was not like other ponies.

"Oh, I thought we were stealing things." She frowned a little, confused. "We stole things last time, we're not doing that now?" She looked over at Eliot, and defiantly bit into another Dorita.

She wasn't going to eat a carrot if you weren't going to vote for her being a magic pony, Eliot.


2015-09-27 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)

Just so long as she didn't try to tell him that the fact that it was orange made it healthy.

"I don't think the whole game is stealing things," Eliot pointed out. He was reasonably sure there were, like, magic spells and monsters at least to go along with it. "There are at least . . . dragons."

Eliot's powers of observation were keen.


2015-09-27 03:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Squeeze Orange soda had ascorbic acid in it, dammit! It was listed on the label!

"You can steal things, if you're a rogue," Hardison explained. "But you ain't gotta be, that's all I'm sayin'. Eliot, you got an idea of what you wanna play? You need to pick a character, too."

And here he'd thought this would be the easy part!


2015-09-27 03:46 am (UTC) (Link)

"Why would I want to be anything but a thief? If I can't be a pony..." And another Dorito died in the service of Parker's confusion.


2015-09-27 03:53 am (UTC) (Link)

"It's for pretend, Parker," Eliot said. "You know, like a grift." He picked up one of the character sheets at random. "I'll play this one."


2015-09-27 04:03 am (UTC) (Link)

"A'ight, so that's the character sheet for Fistancumulonimbus, a wizard of the Ancient Order of the Brass Dragons," Hardison explained, grinning. "Like all wizards, he's got a standard spell list that he can memorize a few spells from every day. You'll notice he's got a penalty to strength, so he ain't gonna be much good at hittin' things, but that's okay. His true strength is in his Intelligence score."

Was Hardison amused that Eliot had taken this character? YES. YES HE WAS.

"Okay, mama, it's your pick. Remember, we're role-playin', so feel free to be any class that you wanna be, okay?"


2015-09-27 04:08 am (UTC) (Link)

"But we're not even in the bedroom!" Parker sighed, then shrugged. "If Eliot's not going to be Eliot, I should be Eliot. I want to PARKER SMASH!" Which she did, rattling the table and the dice when her fists came down.


2015-09-27 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot scowled at the character sheet he'd picked up. ". . . Does he fist clouds?" Your naming skills sucked, Hardison. "The hell is a 'magic missle'?" He looked up when the table rattled. "Pretend smashing, Parker. Try not to break the table."


2015-09-27 04:31 am (UTC) (Link)

Eliot's question was a nice reprieve from silently flailing from Parker's casual reference to what they sometimes got up to in the bedroom. Sure, they were with Eliot now (yay!), but he was pretty straightforward in bed. They'd been so busy getting used to the new dynamics of the physical relationship that they hadn't really experimented much beyond the incredibly sexy basics.

"MAGIC MISSILE IS A VERY USEFUL SPELL!" he said in a voice that was not at all a squeak. No matter what it sounded like. "I mean,, look it up in the spell compendium index." He passed over another book to Eliot, then hid behind some sheets. "I gotta find Parker a good warrior character."

He was thinking a half-orc barbarian. They didn't get smashier than that.

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