Orange Soda 01 (Small)
Alec Hardison age_of_the_geek
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From the Apartment Above Lukes, Sunday Night
"This sucks," Hardison grumbled from his couch where the bank of TVs against the wall were turned to something that was very specifically not the Oscars. "You know I've been to every single one of these since I was fifteen, right? Fifteen! Had to steal a damn tuxedo my first year just to be allowed in. All that tradition down the damn drain because some folks can't remember that it ain't 1956 no more."

He had been ranting about this for over an hour now and showed no signs of stopping.

"Bad enough they ignored Selma last year," he continued. "I mean, any movie about Dr. King is, like, instant Oscar bait. But to ignore Straight Outta Compton? That movie was amazing! Yo, that dude who played MC Ren was on point in every damn scene he was in. This is a damn travesty!"

The couch could no longer contain his frustration. Hardison flung himself up and started to pace, furiously downing bottles of Squeeze Orange soda, which wasn't helping his energy levels any. "You know, I can fix this. I can hack the hell outta those Oscars. We'll see how good their damn ceremony is with Hardison in control of the lights an' music an' the damn teleprompter!"

This would...probably not end well.

[Establishy, but open to the crew if they want in! Thanks to whoisalicewhite for reminding me of Hardison's canonical Oscar attendance. Which, combined with Aldis Hodge's role in the unfairly-snubbed Straight Outta Compton made this post a must]

whoisalicewhite

2016-02-29 03:52 am (UTC) (Link)

"So you're going to hack Price Waterhouse and whatstheirface?" Parker was watching him pace with interest. "When you do that, I want to break in and maybe set something on fire."

Edited at 2016-02-29 03:56 am (UTC)

age_of_the_geek

2016-02-29 04:15 am (UTC) (Link)

"I'mma do it right now," Hardison grumbled sitting down behind his laptop. "Just they wait. You'll know I'm in when they all start thankin' the black folks that they walked over to get to where they are. I'mma set it on fire. Digital fire."

Please don't let him do this, Parker. Please.

whoisalicewhite

2016-02-29 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Parker was completely the wrong person to talk him out of this, despite being Mastermind now. This was what Eliot was for.

"Their bank accounts to go to the NAACP?" she offered, brainstorming.

age_of_the_geek

2016-02-29 04:24 am (UTC) (Link)

"An' this is why I love you, mama," Hardison said, getting up to to press a kiss against the side Parker's head. "Cause you're brilliant."

whoisalicewhite

2016-02-29 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)

"Yup," Parker said happily. "Next year, can Whoopi win something else? She's in a movie again, right?" She frowned. "Hey, who does the nominations? That's where you have to start...."

age_of_the_geek

2016-02-29 04:39 am (UTC) (Link)

"Next year, I'mma make it so that it's just black performers across the damn board," Hardison announced. "Nah, not just black folks. All folks of color. It'll be the damn Rainbow Coalition up on that stage, yo."

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vdistinctive

2016-02-29 04:36 am (UTC) (Link)

"Coopers," Eliot offered idly, with all the great wisdom and attention of a dad at the dinner table with a newspaper. "Don't set anything on fire until you know everyone's been evacuated."

Setting people on fire instead of property was just nasty. Even Eliot hadn't gone for that in his full-on bad guy days.

whoisalicewhite

2016-02-29 04:38 am (UTC) (Link)

"People don't burn well," Parker had to admit. "Also, creepy. So yeah, no. I was thinking more their terrible office art. Or those little cubicle walls they keep the hamster accountants in."

vdistinctive

2016-02-29 04:41 am (UTC) (Link)

". . . You know the accountants aren't actually hamsters, right?"

whoisalicewhite

2016-02-29 04:43 am (UTC) (Link)

"They act like hamsters. Are we sure they're not hamsters that were turned into people?"

Parker's one or two forays into being undercover in office cubicle farms were very formative.

Edited at 2016-02-29 04:43 am (UTC)

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vdistinctive

2016-02-29 04:00 am (UTC) (Link)

"Shoulda at least given somethin' to that guy from Creed," Eliot said from the couch, where he was reading.

Well. Where he had a book anyway. Even he wasn't good enough at blocking out extraneous noise to read in the face of this rant.

"Hell, actor or director. That movie was fantastic."

age_of_the_geek

2016-02-29 04:21 am (UTC) (Link)

And Hardison definitely counted as extraneous noise right now.

"Right, man? Right?" he demanded. "Hell, that even has the proper Oscar recipe for an award-winnin' movie about black people. You know, young black man into sports that finds an old white mentor. What's more Oscar than that? Unless we have a ol' black mammy dispensin' old-timey wisdom to innocent white children who're gonna grow up an' change the world for black folks forever."

Someone's bitterness was showing.

vdistinctive

2016-02-29 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)

To be fair, it hadn't counted when the rant started, but it'd been going on for a really long time now. Hardison was going to blow his voice out if he wasn't careful. Eliot would make him some -- decaffeinated -- tea with honey when he ran out of orange soda.

"I'm from the south and even I know that's bull." To be fair, Oklahoma was more west than south, culturally. Not that it didn't have its share of problems with race. "Trouble is, the Academy were all breast-fed with Gone With the Wind."

age_of_the_geek

2016-02-29 04:42 am (UTC) (Link)

"An' now they don't know nothin' 'bout judges no movies," Hardison said, flinging himself back down onto the couch next to Eliot with further unconcern for his book. "Maybe we should be watchin' the All Def Movie Awards instead. I'm tryna figure out who's gonna win the Best Helpful White Person award."

vdistinctive

2016-02-29 04:53 am (UTC) (Link)

"Sounds like fun." Eliot had no idea what that awards show was or who would be nominated for such a category. "That, like, the Anti-Oscars or somethin'?"

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